1. Mediation Is Mandatory (Unless Waived)
- In North Carolina, including Guilford County, most contested custody and visitation cases are automatically referred to the court’s custody mediation program before a trial is set pursuant to the North Carolina Child Custody & Visitation Mediation Program procedures.
- You must attend the custody mediation orientation and the mediation session unless the court waives mediation for good cause (like domestic violence concerns, abuse, or hardship).
2. Orientation Comes First
- Before mediation, you’ll usually attend a mediation orientation session at the Guilford County courthouse or online. This is a group informational class or video that explains how mediation works, what the mediator’s role is, and how to prepare.
- Orientation helps you understand that mediation is not a court hearing and is intended to help you discuss custody issues constructively.
3. The Mediation Session
- A neutral, court-appointed mediator will meet with you and the other party (co-parent) together.
- Attorneys generally do not attend this session.
- The mediator is not a judge — they won’t decide your case or tell a judge what you said, and they won’t take sides. Their job is to guide conversation and help you try to reach an agreement about custody and visitation based on the children’s needs.
- The session takes place at the Guilford County Courthouse in Greensboro or High Point.
- The session typically lasts around 2 hours, and if needed, additional time can sometimes be scheduled by agreement.
4. What Happens in Mediation
Expect the mediator to:
- Ask about each parent’s priorities and concerns.
- Facilitate discussions about a parenting plan, including:
- Where the child(ren) will live,
- How parenting time will be shared,
- Decision-making responsibilities,
- Future communication between parents.
- Focus on the present and future, not on arguing past grievances.
- The mediation will not discuss child support issues.
5. If You Reach an Agreement
- If both parties agree on a parenting plan, the mediator will draft a Parenting Agreement.
- You and the other parent will sign it, and a judge can incorporate it into a court order. Once signed, it has the same legal effect as a custody order from a trial.
- You and the other party have the opportunity to take the Parenting Agreement with you to review or to share with an attorney before signing.
6. If You Don’t Reach an Agreement
- If mediation doesn’t result in an agreement, the mediation ends, and the court will set your case for a custody hearing or trial.
- The failed mediation doesn’t hurt your case; it just means the judge will decide the issues based on “best interests of the child.”
7. Other Things to Know
- Discussions in mediation are confidential and generally can’t be shared with the judge or attorneys. There are limited safety-exception situations.
It is recommended (though not required) to consult an attorney beforehand, or ask an attorney to review any agreement before it becomes a court order.
Final Tip
Go into mediation prepared to negotiate and listen. Bring a written list of what’s important to you, but stay focused on what’s best for the child(ren). Reaching an agreement at mediation can save time, money, and the stress of a contested trial.
Custody mediation focuses on parenting plans and the best interests of the child. Financial issues such as property division, alimony, and other economic matters are typically handled separately through family financial mediation. (For more about that process, see our article on What to Expect in Private Family Financial Mediation in North Carolina.)
Carole Albright is a partner at Law Firm Carolinas and a North Carolina Board Certified Family Law Specialist and Certified Family Financial Mediator. With more than 30 years of experience in family law, she assists clients and attorneys across North Carolina with mediation and the resolution of financial issues arising from separation and divorce.