Divorce and separation can be emotionally and financially overwhelming enough without addressing all of your family financial issues in an open courtroom. Private family financial mediation in North Carolina offers a structured, confidential alternative to courtroom litigation and allows you to participate in reaching an agreement that allows you to move forward with your life.
What Is Family Financial Mediation?
In North Carolina, many financial disputes connected to divorce are handled through mediation, either voluntarily or through the court’s Family Financial Settlement (FFS) Program administered by the North Carolina Judicial Branch.
In private mediation, you and your spouse select a neutral third-party mediator, or the court will appoint a mediator if you cannot agree on one—often an experienced family law attorney or certified mediator—who helps facilitate negotiations. The mediator:
- Does not act as a judge
- Does not make decisions for you
- Does not take sides
Instead, the mediator guides discussions, helps clarify misunderstandings, and assists in exploring realistic settlement options.
What Issues Are Addressed?
Private family financial mediation typically focuses on:
- Equitable distribution of marital property and debts, including real estate, bank accounts, retirement accounts, business interests, credit card debts and other complex assets
- Post-separation support and alimony
- Attorney’s fees related to financial claims
While child custody may be handled separately, child custody and child support may be addressed upon agreement of if they overlap with financial negotiations.
Before the Mediation: Preparation Is Key
Preparation significantly increases the likelihood of reaching an agreement.
1. Financial Disclosure
Each party gathers and exchanges relevant financial documents, including:
- Tax returns
- Bank and investment statements
- Retirement account balances
- Mortgage and debt statements
- Business valuation documents (if applicable)
Transparency is essential. Incomplete disclosure can derail negotiations.
2. Know Your Goals
Ask yourself:
- What assets matter most to me?
- Where am I willing to compromise?
- What outcome would feel fair and sustainable?
3. Consult an Attorney
Even in private mediation, legal advice is critical, but not required. An attorney can help you understand:
- Your rights under North Carolina law
- Likely court outcomes
- Long-term financial implications of proposed settlements
Some people attend mediation with their attorneys present; others consult them before and after sessions.
What Happens During Mediation?
Most private mediations follow a structured format:
Opening Session
The mediator explains:
- The mediator’s role
- Confidentiality rules
- The voluntary nature of the process
- Ground rules for respectful communication
Negotiation
Discussions may happen:
- In a joint session (everyone together), or
- In private meetings (called “caucuses”), where the mediator meets separately with each party
The mediator helps:
- Clarify misunderstandings
- Reality-test expectations
- Identify creative solutions
- Structure trade-offs (for example, trading equity in a home for retirement assets)
Drafting an Agreement
If you reach consensus, terms are reduced to writing. The mediator will not prepare the agreement so you or the other party or an attorney will need to draft it or review the other party’s draft before signing. Once signed and, if applicable, incorporated into a court order, it becomes legally binding.
How Long Does It Take?
Some cases resolve in one full-day session. Others require multiple sessions, particularly when:
- There are complex financial holdings
- Emotions are high
- Business or real estate valuations are disputed
Private mediation offers flexibility in scheduling and pacing.
Costs of Private Mediation
In private mediation:
- The mediator charges an hourly or daily rate
- Fees are typically split 50/50 (unless otherwise agreed)
- You may also incur attorney’s fees for preparation and review
Even so, mediation is generally far less expensive than extended litigation.
Benefits of Private Mediation
- Confidentiality – Discussions remain private and are not part of the public court record.
- Control – You—not a judge—decide the outcome.
Efficiency – Mediation often resolves disputes faster than trial.
Reduced Conflict – The collaborative environment can preserve working relationships, which is particularly important if children are involved.
When Mediation May Not Be Ideal
While highly effective in many cases, mediation may be less appropriate if:
- There is domestic violence or coercive control
- One party refuses to disclose financial information
- There is extreme imbalance in knowledge or bargaining power
An experienced attorney can help you evaluate whether mediation is right for your situation.
Final Thoughts
Private family financial mediation in North Carolina is not about “winning.” It’s about crafting a practical, informed resolution that allows both parties to move forward with financial clarity and stability.
With preparation, realistic expectations, and strong legal guidance, mediation can be a powerful tool for resolving financial disputes efficiently and respectfully.
If you’re considering mediation, start by gathering your financial documents, clarifying your priorities, and speaking with a qualified North Carolina family law attorney about your options.
Carole Albright is a Board Certified Specialist in Family Law as well as a Certified Parenting Counselor.